I think I’m ready to talk about my epic ladies’ room melt down. Not all of my belly-clutching sob fests are tied to legitimate events (realizing we’re out of milk has been known to cause similar slips from sanity) but this time I had a real reason for my emotion. A really real reason.
I’ve always known Simeon would use a chair. It became clear the more we learned about spina bifida and about his particular diagnosis. So while the wheelchair wasn’t a surprise, my reaction to it was.
To see him take hold of those wheels was to see his narrow world widening, arms open– as if to say, “Come and get me, Simeon!”
It felt so big and so pivotal– like first steps.
I had been warned. One of Simeon’s lovely nurses heard me talking wheelchairs– how it would be so fun to see Sim wheeling around (it is, by the way). She stopped me and with the greatest kindness said, “Just be prepared. It’s really hard the first time you see your child in a chair.” And I could see in her eyes that it was. Her daughter has spina bifida too.
Last month I got all high and mighty about how expectations can change your outlook. I still believe they can, but sometimes my brain accepts without question while my heart yields to the clamor of emotion. I gave myself time to feel. And now I’m just proud– proud of my son and filled with glad anticipation for things to come.
So here’s our buddy in action. You’ll see a lot of wheelchair shots (the chair is on loan to us from the county until we order Simeon his own) and a few of Simeon in his other mobility device, the homemade ZipZac. The ZipZac is basically a bumbo seat on wheels– very clever design and useful around the house. Oh! And Sim is army crawling now, so you’ll see that too.