A few weeks before Sim turned 11 months (11 months?? How can that be?!), the following conversation occurred in my library:
5th Grader: Woa! Your husband looks just like Ashton Kutcher.
M.E.: (confused) When have you seen my husband?
5th Grader: (pointing to my screen saver) In that picture where he’s holding your baby.
M.E.: (defeated) Hmmm… That’s actually a picture of me…
I’m not kidding. The kid thought I was Greg– and that Greg bore a striking resemblance to the one and only Mr. Ashton Kutcher.
“Say what??” I thought. “Me? Preposterous.” I mean, look at me– girl face, girl hair, girl clothes. What the what?
|Come on you guys, how much girlier can my momma get?!|
But, after careful review, I think the little twerp may be on to something. My case of mistaken identity was based on the following photo:
Now, I know what you’re thinking– All I see is a quaint Madonna-and-child-style photo with all the qualities of a best selling Hallmark Card: chubby kid, faces aglow with joy, and one hot mama. But slow down. Let’s move in a little closer, shall we?
Hmm… Anyone else noticing the sideburns, which are conveniently emphasized by some nice shadowing? That’s right– I’m a dark haired lady with serious sideburn potential. Masculine jawline? check. Kutcher-esque nose point? check. Uh. Oh.
There you have it. Uncanny, isn’t it? But, I’ve decided to look on the bright side.
- I have the perfect disguise for red carpet events– granted, I’ll have to wear a tux to keep up the illusion.
- One day, through a hilarious comedy of errors, I may get into an epic lovers’ quarrel with Demi Moore– this would be both thrilling and terrifying, as she could most likely beat me up.
- Kutcher is slated to play Steve Jobs in an upcoming biopic– I look like Kutcher, therefore I look like Steve Jobs, therefore I look like a genius.
I know, I know– I may be making too much of this. I realize that I don’t look like Mr. Kutcher in every photo, but it seems that, at times, our resemblance is striking enough for a 5th grade boy to take notice.
On the other hand, kids are tiny people with some pretty coo-coo ideas. A dear friend’s 4-year-old daughter recently commented that I look like this chick:
I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion.
PS: In the above side-by-side photo, nostril “flair” is spelled that way on purpose because my nostrils are part of my sassy flair– also, I posted the photo before I noticed the spelling mistake so… just go with it.