We came, we swam, we conquered. Our beach trip to St. Simon’s Island was a success and (as is usual) none of my biggest fears came true. I’m not gonna lie, I had some big ones. The following is a non-exhaustive list of my primary worries.
Mary Evelyn’s twelve logical and illogical beach fears:
- Simeon will get water in his trach stoma and drown <– that hole ain’t closed yet, y’all!
- Simeon will get sand in his trach stoma <– which would be horrifying and gross.
- Simeon will get sand in his trach stoma <– I worried about that one a lot so it gets two mentions.
- Simeon won’t poop the entire week.
- Simeon won’t stop pooping the entire week.
- Simeon will wheel his chair down the stairs of our beach house <– This is an all-the-time fear actually– stairs are the enemy.
- Something weird/scary will happen with my pregnancy and I won’t know what to do.
- My memories of the trip will just consist of me barfing in closer proximity to the ocean than usual <– because of morning sickness.
- I will not sample any of the fantastic seafood out of fear <– see #6
- Ghost sighting <– hasn’t happened yet but I will freak-the-flip out if it ever does.
- I lose an eye in a tragic firework incident involving a beach hillbilly with a roman candle.
I know some of the above are spina bifida related and many are pregnant lady specific but I think we can all relate to the terrifying proposition of shark attacks, ghosts, and tragic firework accidents. I am happy to report that none of the above (no not one) actually occurred. Keeping Simeon safe from water and sand was my number one goal and, even though the kid managed to sweat off every covering I devised for that trach hole (gauze, medical tape, fancy hospital grade plastic stuff), we were able to finish the week without incident.
The kid is a real live water baby and I loved all of it.*
Let’s do it again next year, Sim!
*except for the post-beach hell that is de-sanding your toddler– that whole process sucks a big fat lemon, amiright? Seriously, how much sand can one swim diaper hold!? The answer is “enough to make a pretty impressive castle.”