This week kicks off our Mothers and Daughters guest series. Some of my favorite bloggers and writers will be sharing their experiences with mothering daughters and being daughters themselves. As the mom of a newly arrived bit of sugar and spice, I can’t wait to see what insights these ladies have to offer.
(Interested in submitting a post for this series? Contact me at mevlyn(at)gmail(dot)com)
((This guest post comes from Sarah Sweatt Orsborn. Mother to twin gals and a fellow SB mama))
When I gave birth, there was a small moment in the hospital that took me totally by surprise. After the drama of the delivery, after everyone had met the new arrivals, after my husband and I finally found ourselves alone in the hospital room with one of our new babies, I looked over and saw my true love holding one of our new little bundles. He was gazing at her in wonder, looking impossibly gigantic to me in contrast to this new 6 pound bit of a baby, and I could just fee l a crazy love just fill me up to bursting, leaking right out of my eyes and down my face, pushing against my ribs, threatening to explode out of every pore. It was one thing, the new heart that had grown along with my belly, full of love for these new lives we were welcoming, but it was entirely another to watch my true love loving those lives, too, knowing that within his chest was also a new, raw daddy heart, pulsing with fierce love.
I felt like my love for him, his love for them, their love for us, my love for them all– like it was pooling on the ground around us, leaking out of my eyes, leaking out of our pores, and just filling the room like a flood. And it just kept multiplying and growing.
Sure, part of it is probably that I was still flying high on whatever they gave me after my c-section, but even after the meds wore off, I realized that one of my favorite pieces of motherhood was the privilege of seeing the people I love love each other. I think many moms feel that way as we watch our husbands and children love each other well.
And, as a twin mom, I have a special secret that I can let you in on as you prepare to have your second baby, because I’ve had two babies from the start: this crazy love flood just grows even more as you watch your babies love each other.
Even when my girls were just little blobs, they seemed magnetically drawn to each other, always reaching and grabbing and finding their way to each other. I have a picture of them kissing in utero, and I swear they were whispering secrets to each other before they could talk. Still, I felt like it took forever for them to be able to play together, laugh together, and really have a relationship, but all along the way, I got to see small glimpses of what will be their life together, and it’s love, love, love all the way down.
Now, you, people who have your kids one at a time instead of two at once, are lucky in a way because you get to experience something I’m just now becoming privy to: the intense, exuberant wonder that is a toddler showing love. My twins, now nearly three, tackle each other to the ground for hugs and kisses. They squeal with joy to be reunited after a separation. They giggle after lights out and find their way into each other’s beds. Sure, they squabble over toys and lap space and even exactly whose mommy I am, but they also delight in sharing with one another, and are very concerned with making sure that sister also has juice or a blankie or a snack, too. The other day, I went to get Etta up from her nap, and she was standing by the door, holding her special stuffed doggie and her sister’s, so excited to go pick her twin up from developmental preschool, and concerned that she would be wanting her favorite dog, too. They take good care of each other, these two little sisters of mine.
You are about to see in Simeon what we saw in our husbands during those first moments of new parenthood, because he’s been growing a new heart too, a heart full of love for Frances. He will hold her so sweetly. He will give her wet, off-kilter kisses. He will bring her strange offerings of love. He will work out exactly where she fits in your family, and what that means for his place in it, and yes, that work will sometimes be hard, but oh how he will grow. And you will get the magical privilege of watching it, of feeling it multiply your love for him, for Frances, for your husband, for this miraculous little unit you’re all knit into, with this crazy love as the glue.
I’m so excited as you step into this ocean of love. I know many of my friends having their second baby wonder if they’ll ever be able to love anyone the way they have loved their first baby. And, from a heart that has loved two babies ever since there were babies to love, I think you’ll find that you’re actually going to have more than enough love, more than can even be contained inside a triple-sized mom-of-two heart, because you will get to watch all your people love each other, and you won’t even be able to believe it.
Sarah Sweatt Orsborn lives with her husband, twin girl toddlers, two dogs, and one not-so-Tinycat in Little Rock, Arkansas. Her writing is most frequently found on her site, The Adventures of Ernie Bufflo, but has also appeared at xoJane, The Huffington Post, The Mighty, Faces of Spina Bifida, and Parents.com. She is kind of obsessed with Twitter, too.