At the end of the school year, my life is consumed with books.
Not reading them (if only). No– my life is consumed with hunting them. At this time of year I roam the hallowed halls of this elementary school begging for overdue library books like a Dickensian street urchin begging for scraps. I barter, I coax, I cajole. I use all manner of flattery (“You’re such a great reader! I just know you want to bring those books back so you can check more out next year!”) and blackmail (“Wow– $10 is a lot of money. I wonder what mom will say when you give her this overdue notice…”).
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a straight answer from a seven-year-old boy regarding the whereabouts of his “Worlds Most Dangerous Sharks” book? It’s really really hard. So I bribe them with ice cream and parties. I sing them songs about bringing their books back. And it usually works.
But not this year.This year, the books are just not coming back (what the heck!?). I’ve been pleading and reminding for weeks without much to show for it.
|Passed out after a fit of rage…|
So, as the end of the year drew closer, I got a little desperate. And desperation makes me do shameful things in the name of overdue library books.
That’s why, late Wednesday night under cover of darkness, I recorded my own version of “Let it Go” from Disney’s Frozen– except instead of singing about ice and weather problems and becoming my true self and blah blah blah, I sang about library books.
And I played my song over the PA system yesterday morning, for God and everyone to hear.
It was embarrassing. And it was terrible.
And I got SO MANY books back!!!
Totally. Worth. It.
Now, Ladies and Gentleman, for your listening pleasure (and because I have no shame and really do think you should return your library books if you have any…) I present “Bring Them Back,” sung by yours truly. Maybe next year I’ll make a video… (PS: I am posting this because of peer pressure from my colleagues. Making people listen to my voice on the Internet is not usually my game, FYI.)
Some links for my fellow Bookworms…
- Why don’t I own one of these?
- When is THIS coming out and can I buy tickets NOW?
- I did not write THIS but I totally could have (also, gifs are hilarious).
- Bookish QUIZ time!
- And a charming book video from Mental Floss: