Last week was big. Big like a hurricane, or like a skyscraper, or like the Titan Beetle (which, FYI, is the world’s largest beetle<– and I would know because 2/3rds of my job is basically just reading books written for seven-year-old boys).
Just like getting the trach, losing it is a lifestyle change. I was telling someone recently that I couldn’t wait for Simeon’s decannulation because it would be “one less piece of equipment” in our lives but that isn’t really the truth. Trach parents know that decannulation actually means one gabizillion less pieces of equipment (and trust me, that’s a lot because I had to make that number up). It’s lightened our load but, more than that, losing the trach means that Simeon is safe.
I still find myself checking his baby monitor every 5 minutes after we put him down, a habit I’m not sure when I’ll break. I used to check because he could have pulled his trach out, or untied his trach ties, or yanked off his ventilator tubing, or thrown his humid vent onto the floor, or done any number of things that would jeopardize his ability to sleep safely. Now I pick up the monitor with the same urgency as before, but I only see him scuffling around, nuzzling his pillow and blowing raspberries into the darkness. Old habits die hard.
I am learning to relax a little.
Even with all the change, I didn’t cry on the big day. I spent so many months preparing myself, worrying, and fearing what life would be like without that tiny piece of lifesaving plastic, that when the day actually arrived I had nothing but joy left. We were ready. Just like we were when we got the trach in the first place.
And we thank God our little nugget-of-snuggles has reached this point.
I really wanted to share our day with you and fill you in on all the decannulation details, but I realized that with so much going on it would take quite a long time to recount. Since I assume you’re like me and have no patience for lengthy blog posts, I decided to video the whole thing (like a boss) so you can watch our three day journey in five minutes.
Thank you all for your kindness and prayers over the past few months (and years, if we’re being honest). This day has been a long time coming!