Simeon stayed on the ventilator the entire day. I was able to get another pass to see him but was not allowed to hold him so soon after the surgery. Ventilators are the worst. They look scary, they make your mouth hang open, and it’s terrifying to know that a teeny tiny baby can’t breath on their own, even if it is temporary. I spent most of Friday peppering the nurses with questions about the vent.
How long till it can come out? How will they take it out? Will he breath on his own again immediately? Who makes the decision on this and can I talk to them? There were more questions than answers that day. The pain medication kept Simeon too zonked to remove the vent safely, so he would be spending another night on it. I was worried that he might forget to breath after having the vent do it for him, or that the vent would harm his vocal cords, or that he would never be the same. I just met my baby 2 days ago, and I already felt as if I had lost him. That wriggling little cutie pie was a groggy lump and I hated it.
I wrung my hands and called the NICU to check on him over and over. No close up pictures of the baby today. It makes me too sad.