The end of the school year is here, you guys. That means all the library books are supposed to come back. I’m supposed to check them in. I’m supposed to glue their battered bindings back together. I’m supposed to tuck them into the shelves and kiss them goodnight before their long summer’s nap.
Unfortunately, what’s supposed to be happening isn’t exactly… happening.
Have you ever tried asking a box of field mice for directions to their favorite piece of cheese? No? Well that’s exactly what it’s like asking a bunch of elementary school kids where their overdue library books are. Basically, there’s just a ton of unintelligible squeaking and no one will look you in the eye. Welcome to life in library land.
I know it could be worse. This is definitely a first-world-librarian problem. At least my clientele is cute. Blah blah blah.
Still, it’s rough sifting through hundreds (yes, hundreds) of overdue notices and roaming the halls begging 8-year-olds for scraps of information on the whereabouts of a book titled A Puppy is Born. I feel like the world’s worst detective and I don’t even get a cool magnifying glass or a trench coat.
What’s a librarian to do?
Last year, in desperation, I belted out this “All About Them Books” parody as a last-ditch effort to guilt my darling students into returning their books (and it ended up on the local news so obviously not much was happening in Ohio that day). The year before that I played this Disney-rific Frozen parody over the PA system in the hopes of stirring some tiny Anna and Elsa fans into action. It worked (at least it worked a little bit) so this year I figured it was worth another try.
Another year, another parody. This time I combined two things that my students and I both agree are off the chain– Justin Bieber and puppets. Our teachers will play this video in every single classroom after morning announcements today. Here’s hoping this works because, FOR REAL, I need those books like a field mouse needs a piece of cheese.
Without further ado, I give you Sorry (a library parody). Enjoy. Or don’t enjoy (I’m no Bieber but I do have a pretty cool goose puppet so there’s that).