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| Aunt Mev and Camie! |
I went to a Taylor Swift concert last week-- mommy's night out! I got the tickets back in December. It was a Christmas miracle.
Let me just say that the clientele at a Taylor Swift concert boasts far more variety than I expected. It's the Golden Corral of concerts. Clam chowder, pizza, and chocolate fountains all swirl together in a dizzying hodgepodge of Taylor love. Inebriated 30-somethings sashay past grandmothers while miserable yet accommodating fathers rush to keep up with 8-year-old girls.
Audience-- buffet-style.
And then Taylor came out on stage.
Her performance? Fun! Her voice? Acceptably on-key. Yet somehow every move she made felt
so manufactured. Her speech was affected, her expressions artificial-- the whole experience was like watching high-school theater--with pyrotechnics and confetti shooters. And I would know because I participated in
a lot of high school theater.
Let me break this down:
- Taylor Swift likes to talk about her life philosophy-- a lot. The concert began with an 8 minute sermon about:
- how she associates certain colors with certain emotions
- how people say she's too emotional and crazy but those feelings just make her a better person.
- other stuff that makes girls sound high-maintenance.
- Taylor Swift can not dance. She's just too lanky and awkward so she primarily sassy-walks around the stage while making eyes at the audience. I actually kind of loved this.
- She can, however, dress in outfits that will blow your mind. Each costume change was more exhilarating than the last and I am now determined to find some red skinny jeans and maybe a black & white striped top while I'm at it.
- Taylor Swift is as pretty in person as she is in pictures. If I could have done it without being arrested, I would have jumped on stage and touched her face to see if it was real.
- Taylor Swift likes to act out her songs, which means that all ballads are accompanied by melodramatic sad-faces and slumped shoulders. At one climatic moment, Taylor took her hands off the piano and stared at the audience like a basset hound, as if to say "Look at me... this is a sad face. I'm so so sad..." This lasted 10 full seconds-- or long enough to make me completely uncomfortable. I thought I might pull a Liz Lemon and be like...
Oh Brother!
But the thing is, even with all the silly sermons, the boy crazy songs, and the phony expressions-- even with me thinking "This chick is completely bananas!"-- I. ate. it. up. How could I feel so uncomfortable and so charmed at the same time? What kind of voodoo is this!?
So Taylor, whatever you're doing-- keep it up. Your tricks totally work on me. And I love it.
Mommy's night out =Success!
For more funny TS commentary, check out the second half of
this funny post from Jules over at
Pancakes and Fries.
Favorite quote: "
And she’s all: I write about what I know! And I’m all: Know something else! You’re looking cray." Jules is one funny gal!
